The Survey

I just answered a phone call from an unknown Spokane number-- looked like Whitworth, since the first three digits were "777".  Turns out I was right, it was a nice young lady named Isabel calling from Academic Affairs, conducting a survey of recent graduates.  Did I have time to answer a few questions? she wanted to know.  Yup.  Sure do.  Made of time nowadays.  So she proceeded with her survey, first asking, 

"Are you currently enrolled in graduate school?"

To which I answered, "No."

Next question. 

"Are you currently employed full time?"

To which I also answered, "NO."

Apparently that concluded the survey because she then told me to have a nice night and said goodbye. 

Well.  Good grief, I thought, what a dumb phone call. Was I Punk'd?  Is Ashton Kutcher going to show up at my door and tell me there were hidden cameras in my kitchen?  What is one supposed to believe about herself after such a survey?  Isabel could not have prodded closer to the heart of my insecurity about post-graduate inadequacy unless she had also asked, "Do you know what you are doing with your life?"

Thankfully she didn't.  Unfortunately for her, however, I will forever remember Isabel and her survey as The Time Whitworth Called and Caused an Existential Crisis in Seattle.