Top 5 Reasons Why a Self-Respecting Woman Might Opt to Work At Starbucks Rather than Attend Princeton

1.  People who come to Starbucks do not want anything from the barista except coffee.  They are satisfied with espresso mixed with milk, sometimes topped with caramel.  Some people even go so far as to want extra hot milk, and there are the very few who even want to make small talk.  Those people are rewarded with a smile and a chat about weather.  That is all. 

2.  Besides needing a pretty good memory and common sense, being a barista requires little intellectual stimulation.  This is nice for someone, say, who is tired from 16 straight years of school. 

3.  When one removes The Green Apron, the job is done.  No Green Apron, no more work.  Redundant?  Yes, but it is nice to emphasize the truth of the statement.  Even if the employee happens to be in the store but doesn't have the Green Apron, he or she is totally off limits.  Do customers ask her for advice?  No.  Does the barista need to make follow up calls and coffee dates to make sure the customer is alright? No.  Is there outside required reading? No!  Additional meetings or prep?  No no no.  You get the point.  

4.  Starbucks--in all its corporate glory-- runs like a machine.  No lulls, no lack of things to do.  Hours at work are efficient, busy, and productive (and the productivity is quantifiable: number of drinks poured, pots of coffee brewed, condiments stocked, floors mopped...).   

5.  Finally, it is pretty cushy to get a free pound of beans a week, 'specially if one happens to burn through about that much anyway.  It is a cost-efficient way to be addicted to coffee.  Thank you, Starbucks, for supporting the habit.