That's sexual harassment, homes.
I simultaneously feel angry, belittled, and nervous. Angry because I am a captive audience; he's in my work place where I am stuck behind register or coffee bar. Belittled because his attention is so unwanted and insensitive that I feel shrunken-- I want to take up less space for him to notice. And nervous because I am not sure what he will say or do next.
I am a free, adult woman, and this creep has rendered me fair game for whatever fantasies about nice, blond baristas keep him company at night. I didn't sign up for the job, but I am nonetheless a participant, even if unwilling.
On the flip side, I have yet to tell him off. He has caught me off guard with his innuendo and his pointed interest. And I am perpetually nice. It's a bad habit: I am used to seeing sheep and have trouble recognizing a wolf in disguise. Maybe in someway I have let myself be victimized by not taking a firm stand? I can either let my co-workers and manager take care of my business while I cower in the corner, or I can muster up my best F-off speech and angry eyes and stand up for myself, refusing to be a part of his perversion.
I don't want to play into a role that has been played many times before: helpless, harassed female. That still leaves him in the position of power. I want to turn the tables and decide whether or not I am an object of a middle-aged man's sexual desire. I choose NOT. And when I tell him to start behaving or get lost, I will top it off with a customer-appropriate smile and a damn good cup of coffee thankyouverymuch.
